Hi Grandma!! There's so much to say..as these days pass we get closer to that day that you left us and its getting harder and harder grandma.. Its so hard to me to stay strong I feel myself slowly fixing to break down..I dont know how to talk about it..I wish you were here so bad..I know your in a better place but at times I want to be so selfish and I want you back..I want you to be able to play with Gabriel, to hug him, to kiss him, to tell him that you love him...and Mijo won't ever have that and I think thats what hurts me the most of all...because he won't ever get to see what a wonderful grandmother you were..sometimes I sit back and ask myself did i show my grandma that i loved her did i show her enough??? These things have been eating me up inside here lately I think about you a lot! To have one more moment with you to tell you that I love you and for you to hold Gabriel would be great but I know I cant be selfish..To have you here would mean that you would still be in pain and I wouldn't want that..But Sometime Grandma I get mad, so mad at GOD, I think how could he do this why did he have to take such a wonderful caring person away..Why did he have to hurt OUR FAMILY this why?? I know I should be old enough to understand Grandma..But I do I understand in my HEAD but I just can't seem to get my HEART to understand. Grandma It hurts, my heart hurts so bad and I can't make it stop hurting from missing you...Gabriel has brought me so much joy and I know that He was sent from heaven to help me with the pain! And he does but then it makes me think about how much I want you to hold him and hug him and kiss him....I know you look over him just like you do all of us...And I thank GOD for that...I started going to church alot more a while back and then here lately I been so wrapped up in working I just pulled away but I promise you Grandma I will go back!! I think that it helps alot in the healing process..Dont get me wrong I know I will never completely get over it but i know inside its okay to smile and laugh...I miss you Grandma and I love you very much!!